Still looking for your person? Stop repeating relationship patterns.
Therapy · Steamboat Springs, Summit County & virtual across Colorado
You’ve done a lot of work on yourself. You’re doing well in most of your life, yet you still haven’t found the relationship you want. If you’re ready to stop repeating relationship patterns, not just talk about them but actually work through them, you’re in the right place.
Does this sound like you?
You show up for your work, your friends, your adventures. From the outside, it looks like you’re holding everything together. When it comes to love, though, the same story keeps playing out.
- You keep ending up with the same kind of person, even when you promised yourself you wouldn’t.
- When someone good, steady, and available gets close, you lose interest, feel trapped, or pull away.
- You’ve read the books and listened to the podcasts. You can explain your patterns, but you’re still stuck in them.
- You lie awake at night quietly wondering, “What’s wrong with me?” or “What if I never find my person?”
Nothing is wrong with you, and you’re not broken. These are deeply human responses to painful experiences, and they can change.
Why do I keep attracting the same type of person?
Most relationship patterns aren’t random. We’re often drawn to what feels familiar, not what’s actually healthy. If you grew up in a home where love felt unpredictable, distant, or conditional, that kind of love can feel like chemistry now, and steady love can feel boring or even unsafe.
Relationships are mirrors. The people you keep choosing, and the moments you keep pulling away, often point to old hurts that are still asking for attention. That isn’t a flaw in you. It’s something we can work with.
Why haven’t I found my person yet?
This is the question so many of my clients carry, and it often comes with a lot of self-blame. Maybe you’ve been told you’re “too picky,” “too much,” or “not trying hard enough.” Maybe you’ve started to believe it.
Finding your person isn’t only about meeting the right someone. It’s also about the relationship you have with yourself: whether you trust your own read on people, whether you can stay open when someone gets close, and whether you can tell the difference between familiar and healthy. The relationship with yourself becomes the foundation for every other relationship in your life. When that changes, the people you’re drawn to, and the ones you let in, start to change too.
What actually helps you stop repeating relationship patterns
Maybe you’ve already thought, “I understand where this comes from, but I’m still stuck in it.” Insight alone is not enough. Patterns live in what you feel, not just what you think. That’s why, in our work together, we:
- Slow down and notice what happens in you when someone gets close, or when someone pulls away.
- Work through the feelings underneath: the grief, anger, shame, and fear that drive the pattern.
- Look at where it started, including the family patterns you learned early, without blaming yourself or anyone else.
- Trust yourself again, so you can tell when someone is emotionally available and when you’re choosing familiar pain.
As you move through this work, you start recognizing your relationship patterns instead of repeating them. You stop abandoning yourself in relationships or conflict. You feel more clarity about what you need and what you won’t accept anymore. You stop reacting and start choosing.
How we work together
A lot of people find it easier to open up with mountains in view than in a waiting room. We can work:
- In person in Steamboat Springs and Summit County (Silverthorne/Frisco): 90-minute sessions, often outdoors, side by side on a trail. We’ll start in a library meeting room or coworking space, and from there, the weather and your preference decide where we meet.
- Virtually, from anywhere in Colorado, by secure video.
- With horses. Ever wondered how horses help people heal? Ask about equine-partnered sessions.
My clients describe me as direct, honest, and easy to talk to. I’ll respect your pace, and I won’t tell you who to be or hand you a dating script.
Who therapy is for
Therapy is licensed mental health care with me as a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW). It’s for Colorado residents only, and it’s the right fit when old hurts, family pain, anxiety, or past relationships are weighing on you. About therapy
Prefer to work on this alongside others? See groups, workshops and retreats.
Not sure where to start? We’ll figure it out together on your free call.
You don’t have to do this alone
If you’re feeling stuck in the same emotional or relationship patterns, exhausted from holding everything together, or unsure how to reconnect with yourself after everything you’ve been through, we can talk.
A free 15-minute video consultation is a space to slow down, briefly talk through what’s going on, and see if working together feels like a good fit. You don’t need to have everything figured out to start here. You just need to be ready for something different. No pressure. No commitment.
Frequently asked questions
How do I stop repeating relationship patterns?
Start by noticing the pattern without judging yourself for it, and then work with the feelings that drive it, not just the thoughts about it. Most people find this hard to do alone, because patterns feel normal from the inside. Therapy gives you a space to catch the pattern as it happens and practice choosing differently.
Why am I drawn to the same kind of partner again and again?
We’re often drawn to what feels familiar, especially relationship dynamics we learned early in life. Familiar can feel like chemistry, even when it isn’t healthy. As you work through the old hurts underneath, what feels attractive often shifts.
Why do I pull away when someone good gets close?
Closeness can feel risky if getting close has hurt before. Pulling away can be a way of protecting yourself. It’s a deeply human response, and with support you can learn to stay present and open when someone safe shows up.
Do you work with people who are single, not just after a breakup?
Yes. Many people come to me while single and still looking for their person, wanting to stop repeating old patterns and feel ready for a healthy relationship. Therapy is for Colorado residents only.