Relationship trauma and betrayal therapy to help you trust yourself again
Therapy · Steamboat Springs, Summit County & virtual across Colorado
Maybe you found out about an affair. Maybe you spent years in a relationship where you were lied to, put down, or never quite sure where you stood. From the outside, you’re holding everything together. Inside, you’re exhausted, on guard, and questioning yourself constantly. Relationship trauma therapy isn’t about fixing you. It’s about helping you come back to who you are and learning to trust yourself again.
Does this sound like you?
- You replay what happened, looking for the signs you missed.
- You don’t trust yourself anymore: your judgment, your gut, your read on people.
- You’re on guard all the time, even now that it’s over.
- You wake up in the middle of the night going over it again.
- You swing between anger, grief, and numbness, sometimes in the same day.
- You’re afraid to be vulnerable again, or afraid of choosing the same kind of person.
- Part of you still misses them, and you feel ashamed of that.
None of this means you’re weak, and you’re not broken. These are deeply human responses to painful life experiences. When someone you trusted hurts you, it makes sense that your body and mind stay on alert.
What relationship trauma can look like
Relationship trauma isn’t one thing. For some people, it’s a single moment that changed everything. For others, it built slowly over years. It can come from:
- Betrayal or infidelity, and the lies that came with it.
- A relationship where you were controlled or criticized, or made to doubt your own memory.
- Loving someone who kept pulling you close and pushing you away.
- An ending so sudden you never got answers.
Often it lands hardest where an older wound already lives, from growing up in a home where love felt unpredictable or unsafe. You don’t need a label for the other person for your pain to be real.
What we work on in relationship trauma therapy
- Getting steadier: feeling calmer in your body, so you can sleep, think clearly, and stop living on high alert.
- Working through anger, grief, and shame: the feelings you had to push down just to get through. Anger work is one of my favorite parts of what I do, and for a lot of people it’s a real relief.
- Trusting yourself again: your gut, your judgment, your intuition.
- Seeing the pattern: what felt familiar about this relationship, and why familiar and healthy aren’t always the same thing.
- Coming back to who you are: reconnecting with the parts of you that got lost or went quiet.
- Getting ready for healthy love: so that when you’re ready, you can experience love without fear.
Why can’t I just move on?
Maybe you’ve already thought, “I understand where this comes from, but I’m still stuck in it.” That’s because insight alone is not enough. What happened to you lives in your body and your reactions, not just in your thoughts.
That’s why this work is practical and focused on real change: not just talking about problems, but actually working through them, so change isn’t just something you understand, but something you begin to live. Progress doesn’t mean you never get triggered. It means you don’t lose yourself when you do. You stop reacting and start choosing.
Coming out of a breakup? Going through a divorce? Keep choosing the same kind of person?
How we work together
Talking about betrayal can feel easier side by side than face to face. We can work:
- In person in Steamboat Springs and Summit County (Silverthorne/Frisco): 90-minute sessions, often outdoors, side by side on a trail. We’ll start in a library meeting room or coworking space, and from there, the weather and your preference decide where we meet.
- Virtually, from anywhere in Colorado, by secure video.
- With horses. Ever wondered how horses help people heal? Ask about equine-partnered sessions.
Together, we create a space where your grief, anger, longing, and strength are all welcome. We go at your pace, and you decide what you share and when. I’ll be honest with you, and I won’t push you to forgive, reconnect, or “just let it go.” I want this to be a space where you feel truly seen, understood, and supported.
If you’re not safe right now
If you’re still in a relationship where you feel unsafe, your safety comes first. You can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline any time at 1-800-799-7233, or text START to 88788. If you’re in danger, call 911.
Who therapy is for
For relationship trauma, therapy is usually the right place to start. Therapy is licensed mental health care with me as a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW). It’s for Colorado residents only, and it’s where we can work through betrayal, trauma, anxiety, and old family pain. About therapy
Prefer to work on this alongside others? See groups, workshops and retreats.
Not sure where to start? We’ll figure it out together on your free call.
You don’t have to do this alone
If you’re feeling stuck in the same emotional or relationship patterns, exhausted from holding everything together, or unsure how to reconnect with yourself after everything you’ve been through, we can talk.
A free 15-minute video consultation is a space to slow down, briefly talk through what’s going on, and see if working together feels like a good fit. You don’t need to tell the whole story on the first call. You just need to be ready for something different. No pressure. No commitment.
Frequently asked questions
What is relationship trauma?
It’s the hurt that stays with you after a relationship has broken your trust or your sense of safety, through betrayal, infidelity, or being controlled or put down. It can show up as being on guard, not trusting yourself, replaying what happened, or shutting down. It’s a deeply human response, and it can change.
Can therapy help after infidelity or betrayal?
For many people, yes. Therapy gives you a place to work through the shock, the anger, and the grief, and to rebuild trust in yourself, whether you’ve left, you’re deciding, or it ended a long time ago.
Do I have to talk about everything that happened?
No. You decide what you share and when. We go at your pace, and we can work with what’s coming up for you now without going back over every detail. If you have a trauma history, you’re welcome here. You’re always in charge, and we’ll focus on building safety, calm, and trust.
Why do I still miss someone who hurt me?
You loved them, and connection and hurt can get tangled together, especially if love felt that way growing up. Missing them doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. It’s something we can work with.
Can I do relationship trauma therapy online?
Yes. Therapy is available by secure video for anyone in Colorado. In-person sessions are in Steamboat Springs and Summit County.